I have always felt most drawn to the psychological defense known to some professionals—professionals who bother reading the back of the manual—as “autistic fantasy.” To an outsider, it appears like a second choice, like a movement away from something that, were it not there, not noxious, the choice would not be made, the inner world would not be preferred. I believe for many of us, those on various points of the so-called neuro-divergent spectrum, this could not be further from the truth...
Amen amen, You the host of all, You the manner in which we speak, You the one who carries us on articulated breath. Amen amen.So be it today as yesterday, and all days moving forward, though we who are weary may not see it. Amen. Amen to you who hides behind waves of sadness and … Continue reading Turbulence: Proprioceptive Writing, 1/28/21
[The following is a piece written for a proprioceptive exercise inspired by Rachel Ann Russel's poem, Broken Beauty.] Twisted grace upon the waters Shedding light and blinding eye I wake to pain while seeking warmth How do you know whether to welcome consciousness to the new day Or not? I hang here Resistant to … Continue reading Twisted Grace
A moment ago, I finished the following for another purpose, but I thought some folks might like to read it. It's a very short list of more or less unique things clergy have faced this year. Teachers could probably relate to many of these items, but, even then, not in the same way. And teachers … Continue reading Just a Couple of Things Your Pastor Has Dealt with in 2020
This morning began with cold water spilled onto my bare shoulder. The whole point of the straw was to avoid such messes and I’m not exactly sure what happened. What I am sure about is that this very long day was not meant to begin at 6am, the time my alarm was set for, but … Continue reading Rabbit Rabbit
Proprioceptive Writing Group, 9/17/202 Poem Read – “What’s Myself Doing to Myself”, by Ruth Harm Calkin Part I: No Pain The girl-dog slumbers with gentle, fluttering snores. The Bear-dog lies at my feet, ears erect, not sure if he should sleep. He puts his head down. Ears are still erect. I am not calm or … Continue reading Here, 2020
I want to tell you of my position, of my stance and who I am. But who I am and where I stand is best affirmed by negation, by my stepping aside and my identity reducing in strong humility.
[Photo credit: Misha Friedman/Getty] April 9, 2020 Writing Group Essay, inspired by “Untitled,” by James Baldwin: Lord, when you send the rain, think about it, please, a little? Do not get carried away by the sound of falling water, the marvelous light on falling water. I am beneath that water. It falls with great force … Continue reading Walking Honestly Through Holy Week in Pandemic
The things that ground me are the things that don’t care, don’t know, aren’t affected by the virus(es) in our world. While I automatically assumed one of the last canary in a coal mine positions, I know I must not always be one who’s squawking, “No! Look here! See the numbers! Understand how they work! … Continue reading The Beautiful Indifferent
My mother once asked how big the moon appeared to me to be. “The size of a dime,” I said waiting patiently for context. Her millisecond longer than usual pause was difficult, I remember, to decipher. She then said, “I heard today that however big the moon appears to you to be … Continue reading The Size of the Moon in My Eye